God, Happiness and Life

My children gave me a wonderful and awesome gift the other night, something I have been wishing for, for the longest time... And now that wish has been granted. I am now the proud owner of a Compaq Pressario. This is definitely a gift of love, so much love. Thank you my children!!! So much! Salamat, salamat, salamat. You have trully made me very happy. One of these days, I am going to upload a snapshot of happyulam. That's going to be my notebook's name. He he. GOD is GREAT!!! PS I remember getting my first computer way back in 1986. My boss, who was then the Dean of Computer Studies of DLSU was pursuing her doctoral degree in Education Management. One day, she called me in her office and told me "You are going to be my research assistant for my dissertation, along with your job here." I was then the main marketing person in her software company. And so the story goes, I sold software while working my ass off (ooopps) doing research for her. It didn't both...

My brother Mario died of colon cancer last October. It was his death's 40th day last November 25th. All I can say is I miss him very much and I love him...

It was September 26, 2009, Saturday. My partner Guy went to his office, early, carrying a borrowed notebook to work on a presentation. His office was just outside Provident Village. My son Jerome just arrived from work and my other son, Jigs was on his way out to join his father in the office. I haven't even eaten my breakfast yet. It was a Saturday, and it was a luxury to not be too in a hurry. I went up with my small transistor radio which I carried every time I went upstairs and heard the radio announcer at DZBB that water was just released from Ipo Dam, Magat Dam and one other dam I now can't recall. I found that weird. I looked out the window. Fear gripped my being. Brown water which looked like muddy water was beginning to rise. Manhattan Street where some men were walking with water at the their midcalf level, had questioning looks on their faces. I called my son. By this time I am trying to control my panicking feeling. I asked Jigs to stay home, saying it would be u...

Something no one ever imagine would happen to the residents of Provident Village in Marikina City. Ondoy damaged all the houses in our village, one way or another. Other pics from the internet attests to that. Pics taken along St Mary Street. These are 2 of the photos my son took on Monday, September 28, 2009, two days after the great flood. This day was the first time  he tried to get out of our house to go to our office at A. Bonifacio Street. Unfortunately, almost everything was destroyed as well.

How do I get a heart of stone? Why? because I need it. Little by little, it seems the load is getting heavier and bigger .. it hurts.. the pain is getting me down. Why won't they stop? Are they happy to see me feel bad? Perhaps.. Sometimes, I am given the eye, other times, a dismissive grunt and mind you even sighs of disgust. It seems my blogging has been taking me away from my "chores". I could not believe my ears. Was I wrong? Was it all in vain? But I am not surprised anymore. I knew all along that I had no right to expect. I am a parent and it comes with the territory. Seems I carry the weight of the world. Still, must I continue to expect? I can still manage I know. I hope I get over this. I am trying to recall. Was I like this with my own mother? What I remember is my Mom was a termagant one. She used to scold me a lot .. all in the name of teaching the right values.  I wasn't even allowed to reason with her. And because she is who she ...

I wish those "closest" to me not expect that I was born to serve them. I have already done that for the past 28 years. I wish I had more to give in terms of physical stamina. My health is failing. Perhaps, they do not notice. It's only the grace of the Lord that sustains my daily life. I do not want to think that they don't care. Maybe, just too preoccupied with their own personal concerns. Or, maybe busy with their own life struggles. I understand perfectly. I have been there. To my mother's credit, for her unconditional love and support, I am here today writing this angtsy post. How I wish I could do more for her. Last Christmas, I told her how sorry I am that after more than 50 years, I am still unable to give her a life deserving of all the sacrifices and love she gave me and my children. Her response was: it was well worth it. If only for the fact that my life turned out "better" than hers; that I was able to get an education which she neve...