God, Happiness and Life

My children gave me a wonderful and awesome gift the other night, something I have been wishing for, for the longest time... And now that wish has been granted. I am now the proud owner of a Compaq Pressario. This is definitely a gift of love, so much love. Thank you my children!!! So much! Salamat, salamat, salamat. You have trully made me very happy. One of these days, I am going to upload a snapshot of happyulam. That's going to be my notebook's name. He he. GOD is GREAT!!! PS I remember getting my first computer way back in 1986. My boss, who was then the Dean of Computer Studies of DLSU was pursuing her doctoral degree in Education Management. One day, she called me in her office and told me "You are going to be my research assistant for my dissertation, along with your job here." I was then the main marketing person in her software company. And so the story goes, I sold software while working my ass off (ooopps) doing research for her. It didn't both...

My brother Mario died of colon cancer last October. It was his death's 40th day last November 25th. All I can say is I miss him very much and I love him...

It was September 26, 2009, Saturday. My partner Guy went to his office, early, carrying a borrowed notebook to work on a presentation. His office was just outside Provident Village. My son Jerome just arrived from work and my other son, Jigs was on his way out to join his father in the office. I haven't even eaten my breakfast yet. It was a Saturday, and it was a luxury to not be too in a hurry. I went up with my small transistor radio which I carried every time I went upstairs and heard the radio announcer at DZBB that water was just released from Ipo Dam, Magat Dam and one other dam I now can't recall. I found that weird. I looked out the window. Fear gripped my being. Brown water which looked like muddy water was beginning to rise. Manhattan Street where some men were walking with water at the their midcalf level, had questioning looks on their faces. I called my son. By this time I am trying to control my panicking feeling. I asked Jigs to stay home, saying it would be u...

Something no one ever imagine would happen to the residents of Provident Village in Marikina City. Ondoy damaged all the houses in our village, one way or another. Other pics from the internet attests to that. Pics taken along St Mary Street. These are 2 of the photos my son took on Monday, September 28, 2009, two days after the great flood. This day was the first time  he tried to get out of our house to go to our office at A. Bonifacio Street. Unfortunately, almost everything was destroyed as well.

How do I get a heart of stone? Why? because I need it. Little by little, it seems the load is getting heavier and bigger .. it hurts.. the pain is getting me down. Why won't they stop? Are they happy to see me feel bad? Perhaps.. Sometimes, I am given the eye, other times, a dismissive grunt and mind you even sighs of disgust. It seems my blogging has been taking me away from my "chores". I could not believe my ears. Was I wrong? Was it all in vain? But I am not surprised anymore. I knew all along that I had no right to expect. I am a parent and it comes with the territory. Seems I carry the weight of the world. Still, must I continue to expect? I can still manage I know. I hope I get over this. I am trying to recall. Was I like this with my own mother? What I remember is my Mom was a termagant one. She used to scold me a lot .. all in the name of teaching the right values.  I wasn't even allowed to reason with her. And because she is who she ...

I wish those "closest" to me not expect that I was born to serve them. I have already done that for the past 28 years. I wish I had more to give in terms of physical stamina. My health is failing. Perhaps, they do not notice. It's only the grace of the Lord that sustains my daily life. I do not want to think that they don't care. Maybe, just too preoccupied with their own personal concerns. Or, maybe busy with their own life struggles. I understand perfectly. I have been there. To my mother's credit, for her unconditional love and support, I am here today writing this angtsy post. How I wish I could do more for her. Last Christmas, I told her how sorry I am that after more than 50 years, I am still unable to give her a life deserving of all the sacrifices and love she gave me and my children. Her response was: it was well worth it. If only for the fact that my life turned out "better" than hers; that I was able to get an education which she neve...

If I can, I would love to watch these movies: 1. Public Enemy with Johnny Depp 2. Inglorious Past with Brad Pitt for historical (sort of) entertainment 3. All About Steve with Sandra Bullock for the laughs. I saw her 'The Proposal' 4. Julie and Julia because Meryl Streep is my favorite actor 5. Time Traveller's Wife for its story 6. The Informant with Matt Damon, because he's a favorite In the Making Movies: 1. The Inception with Leonardo di Caprio (he's going to be emaciated in this film, says the producers) 2. Shutter with Di Caprio 3. Iron Man 4. Alice in Wonderland with Johnny Depp 5. Dark Shadows with Johnny Depp

Another memento I need to share here for online posterity: father's day card which my children sent their pa. This was prepared in 2000.

I found these pics from one of my memento boxes :-) This was taken by my father I believe when I was 3 years old. That big box at the back is our "giant" radio. It can not be seen here but my name was inscribed on the upper portion of the radio box. Another pic clipping taken while I was still active as a marketing officer for a software company many years ago. The other lady was my long time boss, the company president. I cropped the picture for the purpose of publishing it here, but the original photo also featured two others, the two top executives of our bank client, who approved the purchase of a M/F DBMS.

My daughter's latest picture. I believe this was taken in Singapore on their way to Vietnam for a 3 day holiday .

These things which were all part of my children's lives were given away when we moved to this place about a year ago. Space, obviously was not enough. Though we were sad to part with them, I am comforted in the fact that the memories attached to these mementos will stay with us forever. They are all now in the possession of happy kids. (I hope)

Sadly, I now realized, indeed my brother has colon cancer. Cory Aquino's condition and subsequent death convinced me. I could no longer deny it as much as when I found out the unfortunate news. I can now openly talk about it. Does it help that my family had witnessed a couple of deaths caused by the big C? First, on my father's side was my aunt who died when she was 11 years old from cancer in the stomach. It was known then as tumor. And then my grandfather; who also died from a certain type of digestive cancer. His brother also died from one. My grandad's daughter, my aunt; including, my cousin, her daughter, both died of bone cancer one year after another. On my mother's side, her sister died of lung cancer. Last year their brother died of lung cancer. And then my cousin, my aunt's daughter, died of breast cancer just 2 years ago. Forgetting this genetical misfortunes, this post's purpose is really just to document my observations of colon cancer...

Sadly, I now realize, indeed my brother has colon cancer. Cory Aquino's condition and subsequent death convinced me. These are some of the local symptoms my brother had when it was discovered that he had colon cancer. It started when his stomach grew big as large as though he was 7 months pregnant. The hard head that he was, didn't want to see a doctor. But that day, he no longer had any choice. He was in huge pain.And he was vomitting. He went to the hospital with his wife,  our niece and his son. The doctor immediately decided to do an operation. A certain part of his large intestine was ready to burst. Bacteria was fast spreading all over his stomach. They had to arrest that first,  before doing an operation. They found a tumor as big as an egg in his colon. It had to be removed. It was the source of  all the infection he was suffering from. At that point, I knew he most likely had cancer. I looked over wikipedia, "a tumor that is large enough to fill the entire ...

I have only two brothers. My father's gone but thank God my Mom is still around. I don't know how to say this but my brother is also with colon cancer stage 3. His children are aged 13, 11 and 3. Too young to lose a parent. It's been awhile since I learned this, but didn't have enough courage to write about it anywhere; as if not talking about it will make the ailment go away. But because Cory Aquino just died of the same ailment, I finally got enough gut to speak about it. I consider myself a coward, refusing to think of what is going to happen. I fact I have only seen him twice since the news broke out. I realized, how selfish of me, thinking only of my personal pain, instead of doing my share in attempting to give him comfort in whatever form. Today, I cry and cry and cry for my brother... his children and Cory Aquino.

Happy Anniversary Mahal!!! Cheers!!!

I have been a voracious eater of saluyot. Obviously for the health benefits. And so ow I want to plant my own. I no longer have a backyard but I was hoping I could do this on clay pots? The income potential mentioned in the article, Seek No More: Saluyot's Income Potential is not exactly what I am after, since I don't have a place to do it. But if only for my own personal consumption, that should be cool :-)

It is Jerome's birthday. And I promised to make him pasta, which is one of his favorite food groupings. Though it was kind of stormy, the "celebration" turned out fine. The special someone is of course there. Cake and ice cream and good company. Happy Birthday my Son! Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. Well said by ~Charles Schulz And recession or not, Never Stop Celebrating Life! God Bless and I Love You.

More birthday funnies in honor of my partner's special natal day. Humorous Quotes about getting older "Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative." - Maurice Chevalier "You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." - Bob Hope "Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle." - Bob Hope "I have everything I had twenty years ago - except that it is now all lower." - Gypsy Rose Lee "The longer I live, the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time." - George Bernard Shaw "At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgement. " - Benjamin Franklin "Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir "The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that a...

It is my partner's birthday. There's a lot to say. But little time. So, I just choose to attempt at sounding funny... to feel happy... First off, I am borrowing these lines from somewhere on the web. At first glance, the jokes sound stupid. Overtime, though, some; if not most, ring true :-) 1. Men are like .......Laxatives ..... they irritate the crap out of you. 2. Men are like ......Bananas ...... the older they get, the less firm they are. 3. Men are like .......Weather ..... nothing can be done to change them. 4. Men are like .....Blenders ... you need One, but you're not quite sure why. 5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars ... sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips. 6. Men are like ....Commercials ...... you can't believe a word they say. 7. Men are like Department Stores .... their clothes are always 1/2 off. 8. Men are like .. Government Bonds ... . they take soooooooo long to mature. 9. Men are like .. Mascara ..... they usually r...

It's been awhile. Life could never be better. A big joke? Better career position, new business endeavors with foreigners as partners. The future looks very promising. Out of that loop. Choose to be. It is difficult to be where you do not want to be. Clash of ideas.. principles? Or even, personality types. Does it make sense? What you see in me is what you get, right?  No sugar coatings.   No  photoshopping,

My friend's daughter got pregnant. It is ill-timed. True. She just graduated from college and was dreaming of moving on to becoming a doctor. In fact, she promised her mother that she would help her other siblings finish their studies too when the time comes. Boohoo. Too late. I felt bad for my friend. She had enormous hopes. After all, daughter was intelligent ... ? Pretty. Seemed to be very level-headed. But why did things suddenly got out of hand? Because her mother failed to get her to move on to med school. Why couldn't she get it? Was it difficult to understand that it was only her Mom moving high heavens to get her family through life? Her Papa is busy doing something else. Obviously, this family is less important than the family he now has. Ahhh. Life. It can tear you into pieces. You can drown from your own tears. But what for? Stand up. Just like the way you always do. You are brave. In fact as I told you recently. You are my hero.

I got a rose on Valentines Day. "Sometimes called "the flower of light", one of the meanings of white roses is everlasting love - love stronger than death, an eternal love, undying and all sustaining. White rose speaks of a love that is sustained more by loyalty, reverence and humility". What can I say? :-) Thanks to this and this sites.

My post about Robert Kiyosaki, known world over as "financial guru cum motivational speaker", got me thinking about my own history of financial challenges. Issues that were resolved over time, because I tried very hard to right the wrongs; and just held on to the belief that nothing remains forever. At the moment, I still do not possess the financial freedom to relax and do the things I really want to do. Suffice it to say that I am fully aware that being an employee usually is a paycheck to paycheck kind of existence and more often, can not be better than running your own business, no matter how small. I resigned from an IT software marketing job in 1989 to become an entrepreneur in 1990. Thanks to my American based principals and by way of recommendations from their Singaporean partners, I was encouraged into going it on my own. For six years, I was practically, a one man army doing, marketing, sales, book keeping and other odd jobs that needed to be accomplis...

Jigs, my youngest son cut his hair recently. It had to go to get a new whiff of air. His girlfriend was so am azed at the transformation, she said she didn't realize Jigs was good looking :-) Jigs used to sport a very long hair. It would have suited him well if he was healthy looking. His weight which was just over a hundred pounds at five feet six made you think he wasn't eating at all. Thin as a waif, smoking and all, what do you expect. Perhaps, his new haircut will encourage him to fill up that empty body frame. And he's got a new line of work also. Am eagerly awaiting how that would turn up :-) All the best is all I wish for this son of mine.

Belle is Jerome's girlfriend. My partner tells me that these two have been together since September, 2007. Oh! I didn't know that :-) I know from my son's stories that Belle is such a hardworking individual. That she was a working student, way back is quite admirable. I am sure she missed a lot of fun. While she was burying herself with work after school, most of her college classmates were having a hey day, I am suuurrrre. How many young people today can afford not having that? To have a job to support one's studies because one wants to help her parents is quite a feat that is hard to ignore. It takes a lot of character and determination. For all the good things that Belle brings into the life of my son, I thank her. And here's wishing YOU the best Belle. May you continue to live a purposeful life. While at it, enjoy the journey too. And Thank you for being always thoughtful. Finally, today, it is a must that you take pleasure in the company of the pe...

Photos taken last night at Nigel's birthday dinner. The head of the brood, Jerome, Belle, Andre, Nigel, birthday man and Jet, Nige's bossom buddy. Nigel, Andre, the band leader, Jerome, and Jigs The men and a Belle.

Today is Nigel's birthday. That's my stepson who just recently married. Since wife, Myles is back to work at Luxembourg, he is spending his birthday with us. The 'us' who joined us for a small dinner was, of course my partner, Jet his best friend, his bro Jerome(at last), Belle. Jerome's girlfriend, Jigs, another brother, (Joanne-Bebe was supposed to come as well but too tired from work and school; and of course Andre, eldest brother, who joined us belatedly. Right now they are still drinking beer as usual. Jerome is being continuously roasted for missing so many family occasions, including Nigel's wedding. Aaarrgghh. I can't believe Nigel is 30 and married. The first time I met Nigel was back when he was about 3. He did a 'poem' for me - from splendor in the grass. I saw him again when he was already driving his own car, dropping in once in a while to watch my sons' neighborhood basketball games. At that time he was a varsity player for his s...

These are some of the books and toys my children accumulated as they were growing up. I remember taking these photos before they were all given away when we moved to a new place, almost 7 months ago. I gave the books to Bebe. At that time, we were not yet privy to the fact that she has a son. Now, I feel so much better, I don't know why. Perhaps, for my son. He has been keeping the 'child-son secret' for the longest time, though we had already known early on. For his peace of mind, I m glad, the fact is out. As the old adage say, the truth will make us free. And I hope Bebe has the time to read some of them to her son, Wakki. Well these stuffed toys went to my nieces. It's my daughter's, accumulated from way, way back. Again, I show it here for posterity. I remember, her favorite is Garfield in his bathrobe. The rest of her Garfields, I take were given to some toys for charity orgs. The thing is, I love keeping mementos. Cards, restaurant bills, old flowers, gi...

Bebe is my son's girl. I am not sure though if they are still together. But yesterday, she was here to visit, bringing along her 3 year old son, Wakki. As I was out of the house when they arrived, the boy, tired apparently, slept. When he awoke, Bebe brought him to our room to get introduced. He seemed shy at first. Aren't all children like that? They need time to warm up. I gave him junk (mean me!) I knew there was a possibility they'd come for a visit so I got him and myself these potato junk. Aargghh! My partner, gave him a tiny plastic, blue and yellow dancing boy toy. He was hesitant to take it from partner at first, unlike the way he was with the junk from me. He!He! Children will always be children. So easy to get around them. The boy is handsome, looks like Bebe. Truth is, it brought back a lot of bittersweet memories of my eldest child. But I don't want to dwell on things past, especially if if I have to relive not so happy moments :-) One thing though, I j...

I got this email from Myles my step-daughter-in-law. Remember? She is Nigel's wife :-) I take special note of the freezing weather she mentions; which they who are based in Europe are experiencing right now. I really could not imagine how that feels. Much like you are in freezer, huh? OMG! Myles, as I know her is pretty resilient. Weather conditions and all :-) But I am sure, now more than ever, she misses her big hunk of a hubby, who'll be off soon to follow her. So until that time, Myles will have to make do with thermal wear and thermally enabled bed and linen to keep her warm. ==================================================================== Hi Tita, Just taking a break from uploading pictures at the website that Nigel and I am creating. Hope all is well with you and the boys. I have not started reading the book that you gave me. By the way, thanks for the thought. I will read it after i finish one that's been gathering dust over my bedside table. It is negative...

That's Myles, my step son's lovely wife, my partner and me toasting the new year's eve. Nigel was taking the picture on my camera. This was taken after, the fireworks and firecrackers have all been exploded. he!he! I have no photos of those moments. My camera had only 2 MB memory stick. Swell! And there was no way I could upload photos it has taken so far. So I was stuck :-( (Grrr)

In the Philippines it is the Black Nazarene's Day today. Though this is also a significant day for me, January 9 is a day I will never forget until my dying moments - it is my eldest, a daughter's birthday. I was 23 years old at the time. Young and lost. But I thank the Lord that He gave me the strength to hold on and do the right thing. Today, many, many years after, the more I have reason to be grateful to God, for giving me the gift of a child like Lorraine. I am indebted to the Lord, that HE walks with Lorraine, always seeking HIS guidance in everything that happens in her life. I am grateful, that early in her life she found her true calling and that is to be of service to little children; teaching, inspiring, and molding them; to find and explore their potential as useful and productive individuals for the future. To you my dearest Louise Marie Lorraine, here is my wish for you this year: a prospering teaching career, a meaningful personal life, a family that c...