Remembering my Father Today

Today is my Father's 15th Death Anniversary. He died from a cataract operation because, as we suspected he had overdosed on anesthesia. Cataract is supposed to be a simple, uncomplicated operation.  In fact earlier that month, his right eye was operated first. Able to regain his sight on his right eye,  he was too excited to get the left eye immediately operated on. He was too happy, he said the first one was a breeze.

No one saw it coming. I was too shocked when I got that late morning call from my cousin who was with him at the hospital. They were buddies, this cousin and , my father, so it was very okey that he was the one who accompanied him  during the operation. Early that day, I was expecting an important call from my Singaporean principal. My plan was right after that call, I would immediately proceed to the hospital.

But it became too late.. he was in comma right after he got out of the operating room. The doctors were unable to give us an acceptable answer. It was clear, early on that there was negligence somewhere.

Guilt overtook me. How could I not have accompanied him to the hospital. What kind of a daughter was I? I cried and cried and cried until tears dried out.

Those were painful memories. My father never woke up from that comma. He stayed in the recovery room while  I watched his half naked body convulse.. almost every hour.. he was having those asthma seizures while he remained sedated.. To much anesthesia prevented him from responding and defending himself from those attacks.

My father died after 11 days.

One of the doctors unceremoniously announced that even if my father lived, he would have been a vegetable. "At this point",  the FB said,  "he is brain dead. The seizures caused his brain to actually die."

 What an ass!!!

Why are all these negative memories suddenly coming back?

I am not sure why. All I know is,  he is with the Lord, smiling over us; joyful,   that he now has a great grand daughter.

I love you Papa! Godspeed!