Skip to main content

Remembering my Father Today

Today is my Father's 15th Death Anniversary. He died from a cataract operation because, as we suspected he had overdosed on anesthesia. Cataract is supposed to be a simple, uncomplicated operation.  In fact earlier that month, his right eye was operated first. Able to regain his sight on his right eye,  he was too excited to get the left eye immediately operated on. He was too happy, he said the first one was a breeze.

No one saw it coming. I was too shocked when I got that late morning call from my cousin who was with him at the hospital. They were buddies, this cousin and , my father, so it was very okey that he was the one who accompanied him  during the operation. Early that day, I was expecting an important call from my Singaporean principal. My plan was right after that call, I would immediately proceed to the hospital.

But it became too late.. he was in comma right after he got out of the operating room. The doctors were unable to give us an acceptable answer. It was clear, early on that there was negligence somewhere.

Guilt overtook me. How could I not have accompanied him to the hospital. What kind of a daughter was I? I cried and cried and cried until tears dried out.

Those were painful memories. My father never woke up from that comma. He stayed in the recovery room while  I watched his half naked body convulse.. almost every hour.. he was having those asthma seizures while he remained sedated.. To much anesthesia prevented him from responding and defending himself from those attacks.

My father died after 11 days.

One of the doctors unceremoniously announced that even if my father lived, he would have been a vegetable. "At this point",  the FB said,  "he is brain dead. The seizures caused his brain to actually die."

 What an ass!!!

Why are all these negative memories suddenly coming back?

I am not sure why. All I know is,  he is with the Lord, smiling over us; joyful,   that he now has a great grand daughter.

I love you Papa! Godspeed!

Popular posts from this blog

The Ibanag Family in Retrospect

The Ibanags just like most Filipino groupings are matriarchal. When my mother was younger she wielded a power over me that forced my tongue in check whenever she gave me a scolding or admonition for a real or imagined “wrongdoing”.

No one ever talks back. Let alone me. I can not recall if there ever was an instance when I mastered enough courage to explain anything even when there was a chance to do so. But it sure did happen one day when I was already 26 years old and had 2 children. Swell. :-)

The elderly are treated with respect in the Ibanag culture. Deference is essential if not required and is lavishly displayed and shown. Proper language and the right tone of voice characterize conversations with the elders. It is not uncommon to take the elder’s hand, bring it to the forehead or kiss the hand to show courtesy and respect.

Women are venerated in the Ibanag family. Most of the time they have the last say in decisions involving family affairs. Although Filipinas are kn…

Ibanag and Filipino Childbirth Rituals

"For parents, birth rituals and ceremonies provide an immediate sense of connection as well as inclusion of the child into the clan, tribe or community. These rituals establish at a very early stage, who they are. The rituals also serve as guideposts as they grow and develop their own sense of identity. Even if they drift away from or reject their heritage, their early experiences give them a place to return to if they so choose".

The Ibanag culture is filled with childbearing rituals and practices which have been handed down from one generation to another. Here are some of them.

1. It is said that if a pregnant woman has a lot of blemishes or pimples on her face, her baby will be a girl.
2. If the mother glows and radiates beauty, the baby will be a boy.
3. If the mother craves for sweets and other carbohydrates, the baby will be a girl.
4. If the mother is craving for oily or fried foods, the baby will be a boy.
5. The mother should not eat 'balut' (a native duck egg d…

Learn the Ibanag dialect?

As I mentioned in one of my prior posts somewhere in one of my blogs, the Ibanag dialect is somewhat difficult to learn because when you speak it you can sound like a chirping bird :-)

I learned the dialect by just hearing it from my Mother who use it everytime her relatives come to our home to visit. And this was not that often. You see, her relatives from Isabela, that's where she was born, come to spend their vacation with us every summer, yes the whole summer months. And yes, EVERY summer of EVERY year. Well, they don't come empty handed. They bring sacks of rice, ample stocks of meat enough to feed all of us for 1 month. They bring live animals too, like chicken, piglets, not to mention baskets of fruits and vegetables, even our neighbors get their share.

Wherever Ibanags are, you know they are around because they are so loud and so noisy. They have this habit of speaking all at the same time :-)Sigh. Now if that is not enough reason for anyone to learn the dialect, I …