I wish those "closest" to me not expect that I was born to serve them. I have already done that for the past 28 years. I wish I had more to give in terms of physical stamina. My health is failing. Perhaps, they do not notice. It's only the grace of the Lord that sustains my daily life.
I do not want to think that they don't care. Maybe, just too preoccupied with their own personal concerns. Or, maybe busy with their own life struggles. I understand perfectly. I have been there.
To my mother's credit, for her unconditional love and support, I am here today writing this angtsy post. How I wish I could do more for her. Last Christmas, I told her how sorry I am that after more than 50 years, I am still unable to give her a life deserving of all the sacrifices and love she gave me and my children.
Her response was: it was well worth it. If only for the fact that my life turned out "better" than hers; that I was able to get an education which she never had. If only for that she said, "okey na rin and naging buhay ko".
And so I hope these "people close to me" start looking at their lives within the context of the future -- their future. Their own families, their own children and all I can say is Good luck and Godspeed!
Suddenly, someone comes into the room and asks me, "Is Erano Manalo making you cry?"
Maybe , because tears were falling from my eyes, while I have been staring blankly at the TV showing INK's Ka Erdy Manalo's burial...