22.9.09

Heart of Stone?

How do I get a heart of stone? Why? because I need it. Little by little, it seems the load is getting heavier and bigger .. it hurts.. the pain is getting me down. Why won't they stop? Are they happy to see me feel bad?

Perhaps.. Sometimes, I am given the eye, other times, a dismissive grunt and mind you even sighs of disgust.

It seems my blogging has been taking me away from my "chores". I could not believe my ears. Was I wrong? Was it all in vain?

But I am not surprised anymore. I knew all along that I had no right to expect. I am a parent and it comes with the territory. Seems I carry the weight of the world. Still, must I continue to expect?

I can still manage I know. I hope I get over this.

I am trying to recall. Was I like this with my own mother? What I remember is my Mom was a termagant one. She used to scold me a lot .. all in the name of teaching the right values.  I wasn't even allowed to reason with her. And because she is who she is, I feared her a lot.

Times were different then. And definitely today's different from then..

Pero sa dami ng pang-unawa na ipinamudmod ko sa halos lahat ng tao ng nangailangan nito noon, parang kakaunti yata ang inaani kong balik ngayon. Di ba Golden Rule?

I am a firm believer of the Golden Rule. At a young age, I knew that whatever it is you do to others, it will come around. That was why I was careful. Sana mas maintindihan ko lang sila. Sana mas matutunan kong maging matatag, maging bato kung kailangan. Pero di ba masama yun sa kalusugan?

But do they care at all?