5.7.08

Are you qualified to become a parent?

The natural process of life is to be born, live and then die. In between these three processes and for most, lie the consequential aspects of living: and again by choice - - study, work, marry, and have children. Between living and dying, there's, continue to work, become a grandparent, retire, age and then the end game - die.

As mentioned one of the most crucial aspects of a person's life is to become a parent. Parenting is a huge responsibility. It requires being tough, dedication and character that is built from sturdy moral fibers. Children, and not by their own making are born of parents. What they become is mostly the consequence of their experiences as a child. They are the products of what they see from their environment and what their parents teach or fail to teach them.

Parenting is being responsible for another individual - his needs, his development. But how can a person achieve this if she fail at being responsible herself?

To me as a mom, responsibility came at an early age. I was barely 23 years old when I accidentally became a mother. Far from being emotionally prepared, I had to weather becoming a mother by myself. I just got through the university and was just beginning to earn a living. And then, my first child. My disappointed mother was naturally not there initially. It was tough.

It was no sweat waking up in the middle of the night to feed my child, what seemed unbearable was the absence of the people who were supposed to support me. That I had to endure the wrath of many of my family members because my child's birth was untimely, was a burden I had to carry alone. My mother could not initially forgive me. She had a lot of expectations. Too late? I have already become a mother, my journey as a parent had already began.

Parenting is essentially, sacrifice. You give yourself so that another human being may live. Your very own future is jeopardized when you bear a child unprepared. Despite the un-readiness you are required to nourish the life of an innocent child who did not choose to be born. You are obligated to fulfill that need.

Not everyone is capable of becoming a parent. A parent gives and gives and gives --- without expectations. Parents were created I believe, not to even expect anything back. And that is precisely why many fail at parenting. They think it is a give and take process, but it's NOT. Especially in our culture, parents instinctively give even when there is none anymore. I am sure many will disagree but once you become a parent, parent you are one until death. Martyr? Hero? Parent?

Are we qualified?