My son's godmother and one of my dearest friends, came over recently to visit. It's been awhile. Lots of things happened in her life. Some good, others not that good. I learned she'd been shuttling to the U.S. for the last year or so. Because, first, her marriage unexpectedly, nosedived. Good there are no children :-( Or is that the reason why the marriage went bad? I don't know. Second, her father was diagnosed with colon cancer last year.
Recently, both her mom and dad decided to go back here to spend his remaining time with old friends and relatives and a couple of children and grandchildren. Most of the family is in America, you see. It is so depressing. My friend's dad is a quiet and dignified person possessing an aura of respectability. Kind and gentle, he always was a cool dad, easy to please and chummy to all his children's friends.
Why do the good one's seem to go ahead first?
Early this month, my own uncle was also diagnosed with lung and liver cancer. Seventy-three, he is younger than my mother. A hardworking fellow who successfully supported 8 children, now that his children all seem to be doing well and desires to make his old age as comfortable as can be, why does cancer have to take over?
Waking up to these recent events in my family's life unsettles me once again about my own mortality. What is there about dying? Where is that great beyond? What does God consider when He finally decides our time is up? Is there a greater purpose in leaving this earthly life? Despite efforts to overcome, I find myself depressed more than usual which I try to overcome with my yoga exercises.
If I can find the words to make any suffering person better, then I would do everything I am capable of to make it available to as many as I can touch, as countless as I can reach, as often as my every waking moment.
I have often talked about my own death, how certainly soon it all seems to be coming, but family dismisses it like, "there you go again". I am not hurt. I know they refuse to acknowledge this possibility as in denial shall refuse reality.
I think I am in my not so good days :-(
I am sorry. It's time to meditate.