19.6.06

I Miss My Father

My father died in 1995. He wasn't sick. In fact, it was just a cataract operation. Something went wrong with the operation. Some doctors intimated it was overdose of anesthesia.

Emotionally, it was difficult for me. In the past I had some issues with my father but at the time of his death all's settled. We had made up.

What remained was the animosity coming from my mom. She remained rooted in the past.(emotional as well as physical pain dominated their married life) And the after effect of this situation destroyed my balance. I loved my mother. I knew where she was coming from. And this made it even harder for me.

When Papa died, we were financially alright. Being the eldest, I took care of everything. My father had also left some money. We buried him at the Libingan ng Mga Bayani literally translated -- Burial For Heroes. (He was a WWII veteran)

God Is Good Always!

Now, I remember my father with longing. Despite his "shortcomings", I realize I loved him. Though he wasn't so demonstrative with us his children, I always felt his concern and love for me and my children.

When I was about 10 years old, my father wanted me to take up piano lessons. He even planned on buying me a piano. But due to lack of resources, it never happened.

Twenty-six years after his death, I look forward to meeting him again when I finally pass on to the next life. I am sure he will be at the gates of heaven to welcome me. Yes that's my wish!